October 24, 2011

The Sunday after chemo treatment

Taxol the chemo drug I am on causes body aches and of course I have that side effect - I hurt from head to toe!! I usually handle pain well but when this ache starts it is a painful ache in the joints and muscles. It effects my bad back, knees and arthritis in my hands - there is no getting comfortable when you sleep - the ache doesn't go away. I take fast acting advil and it kind of helps but not really - I can't get comfortable but I try to go on with my life!!!

Breakfast was waffles with real maple syrup - I wanted something fast - I will make my smoothie later.

Sitting on the couch with one of our cats Cali - he is my buddy!!! He likes to snuggle up close to me!!!

So much to do and yet I don't have the energy to do anything with this pain/ache. Pumpkin to crave, bedroom needs to be cleaned and my little office space, Christmas card photo to be taken - yes need to do that now because i send out over 100 cards!!!, thank you cards and packages to be packed and mailed out!!!!!

I want to read this book - "Breastless in the city". it was written by a woman living in nyc who discovers she has breast cancer. i believe she is 25 when diagnosed. I have so many books I need to read!!!

I am approaching things (or at least trying to) one day at a time with a smile on my face. But the idea of cancer recurrence has weighed heavily on my mind this weekend. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s due to everything i’ve been through over the past six months. It’s not easy to handle the idea of your own mortality. Life seems even more precious now from this vantage point. I’m bombarded by thoughts of my past, present, and uncertain future. I keep a smile on my face and face everyday as it comes.......

1 comment:

  1. keep on keeping on my dear friend.....some days are just going to suck - - and thats ok...some days will be better . . and sometimes you just need to take it minute by minute...
    - its ok to feel anyway you want to feel...just know that you have alot of love surrounding you..dont ever forget that ......... oxoxox